I can honestly say that so far, the year hasn’t done me too wrong. I’ve actually stuck to some positive changes I have been telling myself to make for about three years now. We are supposed to be moving across the country to Ohio at the end of March. I’ve never been there, but it’s where David, my husband, is from. Though he promises me I’ll love it, and it is the fresh start in life I need, I am still very worried. I also tend to worry far more than I should.
My biggest issue I need to overcome is my depression. I suffer from severe depression and bi-polar disorder, and some days it’s debilitating. I have a horrible time dealing with my self-esteem issues as well as how I feel about life in general, and I’ve resolved to change that. Chemical imbalances in my brain or not, if I look at everything in a more positive light, I think it would make a major difference.
I’ve also been reading a bit more, and practicing my art skills. I realize I stopped drawing and writing, and that may be why I feel so down. I basically just stopped doing everything I loved doing. Time for that to stop. I basically gave myself what I like to call a “Come to Jesus” meeting where I told myself enough is enough with the pity part. I got a shit luck of the draw in life, so what? A lot of people do, and they don’t let it stop them, so why am I? I told David all of this, and how I’d been feeling, and that’s when he called his dad in Columbus(OH) and his dad offered to help us start a life there, including trying to get David on at his job. That would mean health insurance(right now I have none) so I can properly treat my mental issues, as well as decent pay. I don’t want to leave, because I am a creature of habit, however even I agree it’s what is best.
One good thing that happened to me this month is that I filed my taxes, and even managed to lose about 4 more pounds! So at least it’s a step in the right direction! That did make me feel better about myself, honestly. I’m learning to take small victories and see the silver lining in everything that happens, weather good or bad.
Recap taken from my lovely Georgie:
This past month, I learned:
- It’s okay to fail sometimes
- Not everything will always go as planned
- Power through the bad
- See the good in everything
This past month, I got bored of:
- Being down all the time
- Watching TV
- My animals shedding
But that’s OK, because I enjoyed:
- Spending more time with my daughter
- Starting a new novella
- Beginning to blog again and making new friends as a result
Today, something that made me happy was:
Being able to wake up at a decent hour, and enjoy some part of the day so far. Also, beginning to declutter and get rid of things that I no longer need nor care about.
Today, something I could have done better was:
Not start my day off immediately worrying about things I cannot change today.
Tomorrow, I’m going to:
Make a conscious effort to continue throwing out things of no importance, as well as smile more!
Next month, I’m looking forward to:
- Getting a haircut
- Weighing myself(and hopefully it’s smaller, otherwise I won’t be looking forward to it😆
- Beginning to pack up items I can live a few weeks without
Next month, I’m going to make the positive change of:
- Being more organized
- Reading two books I”ve never read(weather it be a new novel or manga)
- Cooking more home-cooked meals
One thing on my to-do list is:
Adding more content to my blog, and making it how I’d like it to be. I not only want to provide things for others, but also really make this little space on the web my own. I don’t plan on playing the “conforming” game, so I need to find out what works best for me, and do it. I’ve also been commenting on other blogs more, because what’s the point in having my own space if I don’t have friends to share it with, right?
One happy photo from this month is:
The day after my birthday, I had to get out at like, 7am to run an errand. My husband decided to go with me, as it still hadn’t gone to bed(he works late night shifts) Well after an errand I said I’d like to go home and get some toast or something. Instead, he surprised me with stopping at my favourite burrito place down the street. He said he knows I will really miss to handmade hispanic food here, and so I should enjoy it while I can. He worked on my birthday, so I’m very happy we got to spend some quality time together! Also I ate two guiso and cheese burritos and was so fully I didn’t eat again until dinner o.O
If I had to write a book or record a film about this past month, I would call it:
Finding Shanae (not a fish story, sorry)
After I post this, I’m going to:
Go make myself something to eat, and brush my hair and wash my face.
- Did you have any accomplishments for January 2017?
- Any major goals you have for February?
- I’m looking at getting a new laptop. PC or MAC? And why? Also, what make/model do you prefer?